My room smells like vodka and shame
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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