i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
