1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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