NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Damn victory sex feels great
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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