His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
