Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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