1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
