It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
