Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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