note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize