I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
