I want to stick my p in your. b.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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