Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
