dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
