so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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