She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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