She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
