her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
