don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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