I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
