AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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