Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
