I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
