i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
