I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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