If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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