when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
