Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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