I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
