im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
