i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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