Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
How's work?
Spinning.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
