I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
