I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
