On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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