He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
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I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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