At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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