So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize