I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I look better un-naked...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.