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Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You can't just leave with hair like that
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
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