I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize