i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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