she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
