ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
