I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
