She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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