I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
