you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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