woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
