I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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