Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
