did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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