help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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