Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
