I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I have post one night stand depression
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
