He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
