At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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