worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
