there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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