He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
