Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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