I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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