Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
