Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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