What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize