I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize