I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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