We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
